Every year around this time the world suddenly turns pink and heart-shaped. Store aisles fill with chocolates, social media fills with couple photos, and restaurants fill with reservations. For a lot of people, it’s sweet and exciting.
And for a lot of other people… it quietly hurts.
Valentine’s Day has a strange way of acting like a spotlight. It doesn’t create loneliness, grief, or insecurity, it just makes whatever you’re already carrying a lot more noticeable.
You might be:
-
recently single
-
missing someone who moved away
-
grieving a partner who passed
-
in a relationship that doesn’t feel good anymore
-
feeling like everyone else “figured it out” except you
When a whole day is built around togetherness, your brain naturally starts comparing. And comparison is brutal to mental health.
Why the feelings hit harder
There’s a psychological thing happening here. Humans measure belonging through social cues. Valentine’s Day is basically 24 straight hours of cues telling you romantic love = happiness and success. So if your life doesn’t match that picture, your mind interprets it as failure even though that’s not reality.
Social media amplifies it. You’re not seeing ordinary relationships. You’re seeing highlight reels: flowers delivered at work, surprise trips, staged photos, big gestures. Your brain doesn’t register that these are curated moments. It just absorbs the message: everyone else has something I don’t.
That’s where sadness sneaks in.
Grief shows up too
This day can be especially tough if you lost someone. Anniversaries and holidays are emotional memory triggers. Your brain remembers routines, the card they gave you, the dinner you used to share, even the jokes. So the absence feels louder than it normally does.
Nothing is wrong with you if February 14th suddenly makes you emotional. That’s actually a sign of attachment and love, not weakness.
What actually helps
You don’t have to force yourself to celebrate the holiday, but you also don’t have to just endure it either. The trick is to gently take control of the meaning of the day.
1. Shrink the pressure
It’s not a test of your worth. It’s a calendar date that marketers adopted. Your life is not behind schedule because of it.
2. Change the focus
Your brain is wired to notice what’s missing. You can intentionally redirect it toward connection that does exist, friends, siblings, coworkers, pets, parents, even community spaces. Romantic love is only one category of attachment, not the only one that counts.
3. Make a plan for the evening
The worst Valentine’s Day experiences usually happen when you sit alone with no structure. An intentional plan, dinner with a friend, a movie night, a long walk, the gym, a hobby you’ve ignored gives your mind somewhere to go instead of spiraling.
4. Limit comparison fuel
It genuinely helps to step away from social media that day. You’re not avoiding reality; you’re avoiding a distorted version of it.
5. Let yourself feel it
Trying to “stay positive” can backfire. If you feel sad, acknowledge it. Emotions move through faster when they’re allowed instead of judged.
A different way to see the day
Valentine’s Day accidentally measures only one type of love. But mental health research consistently shows the strongest predictor of wellbeing isn’t romance, it’s connection. Friendships. Community. Feeling seen by someone.
You’re not broken if February 14th stings a little. You’re human. The sadness usually isn’t about the holiday itself. It’s about wanting closeness, reassurance, and belonging. Those are healthy needs.
And the important part: this day is temporary. The relationships and meaning you build the other 364 days of the year matter far more than what happens on this one.
If it’s a hard day for you this year, go a little easier on yourself. You’re not the only one quietly feeling it, even if it looks that way from the outside.
Mental health struggles often show up quietly. It could be irritability, withdrawal, a change in sleep or drinking habits. If you notice something seems off with a friend or co-worker, don’t brush it off. Ask. Listen. And if needed, suggest they check out a resource like Mental Health and Addictions Nova Scotia. It’s free, anonymous, and available 24/7.
Mental health isn’t just a personal issue. It’s a community one. And around here, we’ve always looked out for each other.
At 107.9 Go Rock, we’re encouraging everyone to keep those chats going, and to make space for what really matters.
